Coddle that self-hatred, hold it dear

Venting. So much venting. Fuck this day. Kill me. Fucking die. I don’t want to do this fucking life.

My existence isn’t only whining. I often turn to this blog as an outlet. Ocassionaly, I rip myself apart. This has been a place I can acknowledge those thoughts.

However, I have good days. Today is one of them. Nothing spectacular. Got up, went to a bakery and ran several miles. Helped my sister with a technology issue. Took a solid nap. Picked out a few new plants for my garden and replaced a broken electrical outlet.

I am off to a friends birthday party, it should be a good time. These days are also happening more often. But always lurking the self-hatred I built and coddled for so many years.

Oh well, today I don’t need to confront it.


Coddle that self-hatred, hold it dear

One thought on “Coddle that self-hatred, hold it dear

  1. Glad to see that you are having a GOOD day. Cherish them if you can. I don’t know how long you’ve been Bipolar, all I can tell you is that for me, (10 years on now) the days don’t even freaking matter anymore. It’s all a blur. I grab onto the good times as hard as I can because there are so many more blah days to live through, it’s almost heartbreaking. But you know, we create our own existence. So they say. I’ll shut up now. Glad to see you are having a good day. 🙂


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