I’m sitting in my living room singing to myself. It has been a rough day.
Dan is working late tonight. I haven’t really talked to anyone today. I think that is part of why I am still sad right now.
I’ve been singing to myself, yeah, like a crazy person. Not sure if it has been helping, but it might keep me a bit in the moment.
“The day was long, long, long, It was hard, hard, hard, but you were strong, strong, strong.”
It’s true. I had a positive work review, made myself eat lunch with people instead of by myself and did it all with a persistent level of anxiety.
I think the anxiety came from taking my Nuvigil close together. The day started off rough, I just seemed down. I take half of my Nuvigil when I get up, 125mg, and the rest near lunch. Instead, I took another fourth an hour into my day and the rest two hours later.
However, I ended up being anxious all day. I’m pretty sure it was due to the amount I took so close together. The coat of anxiety was very similar to what Adderall started doing to me after I’d abused it for a while.
I’ve stopped crying while writing this. I am proud of myself. It was a fucking awful day. And I didn’t do fine, I rocked it. I fully functioned, impressed my boss and had the courage to be a little social.
Tomorrow, yeah I’m still a bit worried. It can’t be worse though, well, I hope not.