Split Nuvigil, Split Mind

My psychiatrist has me splitting Nuvigil now. 125mg when I wake up, 125mg around noon. I do have less anxiety in the morning now. Actually, my morning is fine, maybe on the goodish side of fine. 

Like Adderall used to do, Nuvigil is masking my mood. Life is still pointless. We are still nothing. Out of the billions of planets and celestial bodies, humans are nothing.

Yet, I can think about other things. Push the depressive thoughts out of my mind and accomplish daily tasks. I’m grateful for that. 

And yet again, I am going to complain a bit. I wish I wanted to live instead of merely avoiding the fact that I want to die.

Oh well, small victories.

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Split Nuvigil, Split Mind

3 thoughts on “Split Nuvigil, Split Mind

  1. I admit to feeling the same most days. My mornings are always bad. My meds kick in around 1:00 p.m. and I exist until I can escape to my room and binge watch TV shows and movies. It isn’t living it’s existing. There are some moments I feel as if I’m living but they are small glimpses of time. I have a constant desire to run. In my head I think if I move to a different state one with sunshine all the time I could be happier. It never ends.

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