Self-medicating using Vyvanse for Depression

arrow headsThe weekend has been nothing. Bad? No. Good? No. Alright? No. I’m just moving through time.

This might be due to running out of Pristiq, my anti-depressant, on Friday. My doctor forgot to put in my refill, even though I called. However, I am not sure, this is also just my mood at times, even on the antidepressants.

However, I’ve been self-medicating, using the lack of antidepressants as an excuse.

I hate excuses.

Weakness. Having some old 30mg Vyvanse, I open a capsule and took about half. It doesn’t make me happy, it makes me more engaged. It makes time pass more quickly.

I shouldn’t be doing this, having abused Adderall in the past. But, I don’t know. I also shouldn’t have to feel like my life is just passing time.

Also, I can use a break. Vyvanse gives me a break from depression. I won’t make a habbit of this. I know that will lead no where. But, I don’t know.

I am already going no where. Guilt, sure. I shouldn’t have taken extra Vyvanse.

But it is nice to feel, well, to feel alive.

Current Medication: Vyvanse 40mg, Lamictal 200mg, Pristiq 100mg, Seroquel XR 200mg, Strattera 80mg

Self-medicating using Vyvanse for Depression

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