A few hours ago I chewed a Strattera 80mg, it hasn’t helped. You’re not suppose to chew Strattera, it is a once daily pill that can help with ADHD after six weeks. Desperation. Chew.
Boredom — I am perpetually bored. Granted, boredom is better than apathy, so we are moving in the right direction. Boredom still sucks. I can make myself do chores and things, I just don’t find anything interesting. It is different than apathy, apathy I did nothing, I would lay on the couch all day.
Now I am going through some of the motions of life, I have gone to the gym a few times this week and done some minor house work.
I lack vigor, interest, passion, desire — I miss those. I know a medication like Vyvanse would help. It’d take me out of this slump and aid with focusing. But having abused Adderall, I shouldn’t be given access to Vyvanse, I opened up those capsules before, I’d be tempted to use them other than prescribed.
But maybe not, having my mood stablizied, I wouldn’t need to rely on Vyvanse as an antidepressant like I did when abusing stimulants.
I want to feel like a full human again. I thought the universe rewards you for making good decisions. I gave up Adderall over three months ago now, and here I still wondering how to pick up the pieces.
Current Medication: Lamictal 200mg, Prozac 30mg (2 weeks), Seroquel XR 600mg, Gabapentin 2400mg so far (prescribed dose is 1800mg, sigh, desperation), Strattera 80mg, Caffeine Pill 1000mgish