How to Trigger Hypomania 

Pills, and more pills. 

My psychiatrist doubled my Gabapentin dose two days ago. 

Blah to awful has been my mood. Not anxious, entirely apathetic, no desires, goals, wants — nothing. 

My doctor attempted to sit down and missed her chair. She fell and laughed and laughed. I didn’t. She commented that laughing is okay, it was a humorous event. I winced.

“Do you laugh?”

No. Nothing is funny, interesting or worthwhile.

She doubled my Gabapentin and wants it tripled next week, going from 600mg to 1800mg. Then she wants to start trying other antidepressants. My psychiatrist acknowledged that antidepressants and bipolar disorder is somewhat controversial but reinforced that she thought an antidepressants could be helpful.

Two days ago, first day with increased Gabapentin, glorious. I even texted Dan stating “Today is glorious.” First day of medicine changes are often good, changes often trigger some level of Hypomania. This did.

Today I consumed 2400mg of Gabapentin, four pills. I felt alright, but not the Hypomania I was chasing. Until Seroquel XR time. I take my Seroquel XR 600mg at 8:30. It knocks me out by 10:30 or 11:00pm.

Half an hour after taking Seroquel, boom, Hypomanic. Didn’t even see it coming. Dessert made, dishes done, blog post happening, energy.

I wonder if any med will let me be partially hypomanic. I have desires, energy, jokes, I love this person.

Can’t I keep him? 

Current Medication: Lamictal 200mg, Effexor XR 37.5mg (tapering), Seroquel XR 600mg maybe, Gabapentin 2400mg (tripled two days ago), Strattera 80mg, Caffeine Pill 1000mg maybe

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How to Trigger Hypomania 

10 thoughts on “How to Trigger Hypomania 

  1. I’ve gone through the psychiatrist drug merry go round. For more than 6 months this guy tried everything, I mean almost every drug he could think of. And at the end….I was back on my original med with the addition of one other. He deemed it “treatment resistant depression” and recommended ECT and that was it. I hope that man that you see rarely will keep showing up more and more and that someday you won’t even notice when, you’ll look in the mirror, and that part of that’s laying on the couch, is gone. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Of course you can keep him. Once your specific med cocktail is working, you will begin to feel more human, more alive. Unfortunately the price we pay to feel alive, is great – this waiting around and fleeting glimpses of someone we used to know, and the grief that comes with that. Give it time, and it will smooth out and that person you love will make more frequent appearances

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What scares me most is nothing guarantees that. Is it likely, probably. My psychiatrist says it is. But yeah. Maybe it won’t happen to me.

      On a side note, I need to be better about writing comments. During struggling times I go completely antisocial, including comments, apparently.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right. There is no hard and fast rule about who you will be once ‘you’ emerge from the correct medication cocktail. But who it is that emerges, will be wonderful, because the core of who you are will never change. There might be a few traits of characteristics that are different. But the true you is always there hiding beneath the layers.

        And please don’t stress about comments and replying to them. I also battle replying to comments. I’m predominantly depressed. I battle to wash my hair let alone reply to comments. I understand the inconsistent nature that is bipolar. And if some don’t, then don’t follow them. This is your space in our vast universe that you have carved out just for yourself. You run it the way you want to. Don’t listen to critics. I have no expectation of myself except to do the best that I can in whatever moment bipolar has hurled in my path. And if that means not commenting for a while, then so be it. We already have so much pressure on us, don’t add to it by worrying about comments 😉 🙂

        Like

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