Where I spend life

Anxious. Scared. Miserable.

I fight to do everything.  It must get better then this. I want to call my psychiatrist, but I do every week. She’ll say we need to wait and see if the Strattera works. Wait. 

Always wait. 

The bulk of the medication is in my system, I guess it does build over time. But it doesn’t seem to be having much of an impact so far. 

Is this just were I will spend life now? I can’t.  

But I am becoming more hopeless with every passing day I spend here. Apathetic, sad, anxious and overwhelmed, sigh.

Current Medication: Lamictal 200mg, Effexor XR 37.5mg (tapering), Seroquel XR 600mg, Gabapentin 600mg, Strattera 80mg, Caffeine Pill 400mg

Where I spend life

6 thoughts on “Where I spend life

  1. I desire an “I relate” button. The like makes me feel as if I am saying, “you feel like shit, how marvelous!” But instead, truly, I simply relate. No magic words. I just relate. Only commented to clarify the self-consciousness I feel about “liking” your shared vulnerability.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The apathy is what gets me the most. I used to be a leader…. Fearlessly forging my way through uncharted paths with excitement and motivation! Now, someone suggessts I do something that involves slightly more than the minimal effort or energy, & I’m like “hahahahaha! You think I want to ADD anything to my responsibilities???” They don’t get it. I think after so many traumas, regardless of whether they seem significant to other ppl… If they’re significant to you, you just stop caring after awhile. Because if we don’t care, it doesn’t hurt us when they inevitably come to an end.


  3. Good to see you’re hanging on. I know it sucks when you don’t know if it’s going to work,, but I’ve seen too many people drop their meds before they’ve giving them time.

    I hope they take effect soon.


  4. You know, I am reading each of your posts. I do not comment all the time Because I might feel ” very very fine” and I am afraid to tell bullshit. But I do understand you, that means I am or I used to feel as you do a lots of times. IF that matters for you, I am with you. I mean it.


  5. It will get better. I promise it will. I’ve felt all of your feelings. I’ve been there. Please hang in there no matter what. Have you ever considered switching doctors for a different perspective? I went through two before I found the correct doctor for me.

    Wishing you the best!


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