Pills, and more pills.
My psychiatrist doubled my Gabapentin dose two days ago.
Blah to awful has been my mood. Not anxious, entirely apathetic, no desires, goals, wants — nothing.
My doctor attempted to sit down and missed her chair. She fell and laughed and laughed. I didn’t. She commented that laughing is okay, it was a humorous event. I winced.
“Do you laugh?”
No. Nothing is funny, interesting or worthwhile.
She doubled my Gabapentin and wants it tripled next week, going from 600mg to 1800mg. Then she wants to start trying other antidepressants. My psychiatrist acknowledged that antidepressants and bipolar disorder is somewhat controversial but reinforced that she thought an antidepressants could be helpful.
Two days ago, first day with increased Gabapentin, glorious. I even texted Dan stating “Today is glorious.” First day of medicine changes are often good, changes often trigger some level of Hypomania. This did.
Today I consumed 2400mg of Gabapentin, four pills. I felt alright, but not the Hypomania I was chasing. Until Seroquel XR time. I take my Seroquel XR 600mg at 8:30. It knocks me out by 10:30 or 11:00pm.
Half an hour after taking Seroquel, boom, Hypomanic. Didn’t even see it coming. Dessert made, dishes done, blog post happening, energy.
I wonder if any med will let me be partially hypomanic. I have desires, energy, jokes, I love this person.
Can’t I keep him?
Current Medication: Lamictal 200mg, Effexor XR 37.5mg (tapering), Seroquel XR 600mg maybe, Gabapentin 2400mg (tripled two days ago), Strattera 80mg, Caffeine Pill 1000mg maybe