Drugging my way out

Off work, hello couch. Hello apathy. I’m just laying here. God I’m sick of this bullshit.

Seroquel does help my anxiety and apathy, but it’s effect seems to have lessened with time. 

My psychiatrist added Gabapentin to help with. Today I took 300mg in the morning and 300mg at lunch. It might have helps slightly I the morning, but not enough.

More Seroquel, that is the answer. However, do to my allergic reaction when starting Seroquel, my psychiatrist wants to try other medications and only increase Seroquel as a last resort. 

I just took the last 25mg of the IR Seroquel I had. I’m feeling a bit better, at least I am writing a blog, so the apathy is less crippling then before.

The big question? Now do I cut up an ER tablet to give me an extra boost? 

Update (3 hours later) – I cut an XR tablet into fourths and swollowed one. Then I ate dinner and sat around a bit. But eventually I decided to clean out my disgusting car and listen to a podcast I like. 

After ten or so minutes I realized the apathy was gone. It must have just melted away. I want to think I overcame the apathy, that it was me. I’ve done this long enough now to know that is likely untrue. I overcame it, but I bet Seroquel helped.

Seroquel really is a miracle for me. I hope I can convince my doctor to prescribe a higher dose, even with the risk of another allergic reaction. 

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Drugging my way out

2 thoughts on “Drugging my way out

  1. I really relate to your story of medication being a miracle for you. I had a nervous breakdown at the end of 2013 because of a financial crisis and the fact that the only boyfriend I had had during my recovery was having a baby with someone else. I started doing crazy OCD checking rituals 10 hours a day till 5am in the morning and wanted to cut my throat. I was put on a low dose of anti-anxiety medication but this had no effect at all. But when the dose was upped to the maximum I immediately felt a reduced desire to check. The medication treats my PTSD that was the cause of the OCD and is a big factor in the fact that I am now in recovery from all my mental health problems and addictions. I am happier and more peaceful than I have ever been and that is partly because of the medication. I hope the Seroquel continues to work for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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