What does normal feel like?

scene_from_leave_it_to_beaver_1958Is this normal?

How the hell do crazy people know if they feel normal or not?

Seroquel XR is still a god send. I am now taking 600mg three hours before bed and I take up to three 25mg IR tablets as needed throughout the day.

Still, I am largely apathetic. My mood is stable, but there is little range. Okay, blah, fine and that is about all my mood does.

Towards the end of a dose, when the drug has built up in my body, I get a boost of energy. The apathy disappears and I feel capable. It feels normal with a push in the right direction.

Manic? Maybe. Maybe it is like 10 or 20 percent manic. As Seroquel builds up over the next several weeks I wonder what my normal will be.

I hope normal is 10% manic. But I feel normal is the apathetic dull mood I bear every morning.

What is normal?

What does normal feel like?

6 thoughts on “What does normal feel like?

  1. What is normal for you? Thats the question you need to ask yourself. Don’t compare yourself to anyone or anything else. In my experience you need to find a place that feels normal for you. That could be a day of just getting up, accomplishing your goals for the day and enjoying the sun. Find that normal and hold onto that. Whos to say what normal is?? Whats normal for me may not be normal for you…i have faith in you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s good you’re asking yourself these questions 😉 Like the others said, “normal” is not the same for everyone. And maybe “normal” isn’t even the right word. Maybe you should think of it more as “feeling better” or “feeling less emotional pain or difficulties in your daily life”. It’s not so much about being “normal”, it’s more about you enjoying each day like you deserve. After all, like you said, what exactly is this “normal” people speak of??

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I liked this blog, but I can’t really like it. Whether medically induced or induced by our own brains, it is a heartbreaking thing to have to choose between crazy and apathy. I hope things get better for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m on seroquel XR 150 mg at bedtime. It helps me sleep and wake up with lots of energy. However I have been getting ECT treatment for depression for 2 years whenever I need a boost. See my posts for info on this procedure ok?

    Liked by 1 person

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