Kill yourself.

Every Monday Dan I get together with friends to watch  a show.

Kill yourself.

Show starts at 8pm. I’ve been taking Seroquel XR around 9pm. It starts to wear at seven. It is odd to know that. I don’t attack myself on Seroquel. I, largely, don’t have sucididal thoughts.

Now, around “friends”, everything is a trigger.

A friend got two job offers she is talking about. Both jobs pay less then mine, I wouldn’t take either. Still.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Go apply to shit you worthless fuck. Fuck.

Still, I feel insecure, disappointed, guilty — god damn worthless.

Everything is a trigger. This is why I stopped leaving my home a few months back.

Seroquel with a gulp of beer. Oh well. Fuck you head.

This drug or beer better start working soon.

Fuck you. Fat fuck. Bitch. Fuck.

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Kill yourself.

One thought on “Kill yourself.

  1. Have you ever wondered what things around your friends would make you attack yourself? I would always attack myself when I was drinking. So I stopped and I stopped attacking myself.

    Just a thought? A great way to recovery is analysing your environment around you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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