Yesterday. Good. Awful. Great. Bullshit.

Yesterday. Alright. Right? 

Morning, alrightish . Hello Adderall. Thirty, yum. Alright. Sigh. Hello fifteen. Addict. Cheater. Morning, good.

Afternoon, ehh. Always ehh. Adderall leaving. Waiting, waiting. Don’t take it, just three hours. Addict. 

Kill yourself. Only every ten minutes. Not constant. I can do this. Wait. Wait thirty minutes. Ahhhh. Wait ten. Fuck. Bearable. Okay? Fuck. No. No more suicide. No more. Wait, ten. Fuck. Now, now, now. 

Just fifteen. It will help. Twenty-one minutes later. Fuck. Fuck. Help. Die. Die. Die. Make it stop. Fuck. Thirty, yum. Sigh. Three minutes, nothing. Eight minutes, not yet. Die. Twenty-eight minutes, freedom. Live. Live.

Three hours, fuck. Avoid it. Avoid. Fifteen. Wait. No. No. Split. One-fourth, seven and a half. Please. No more. Fine. No thoughts. Gap? No.

Fuck. Three. Fuck. Thoughts. A half, fifteen more. Half a Lamictal, back up plan. No more now. Sluggish. Livable. Five? Not okay. Die. Die. No pills. No escape. Six-thirty, all gone. Out. Feeling great. Best.

Why? Adderall crash over? Lamictal help? Hypomania? Fuck. Why?

Adderall, no more. This morning, none. Fuck. Awful. Fuck. Nope, keep going. One hour, two hours, three hours. Stop. Adderall. Now. Thirty. No. No. Escape. Now. Thirty-seven and a half. Freedom.

So yesterday, why? Why best at end? Mystery. Always. Moods? Bullshit.

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Yesterday. Good. Awful. Great. Bullshit.

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