Today I braved an adventure into the world.
Over the past year, as the depth of my depression hit new heights and struck without rhyme or reason, I eliminated all parts of my life outside work and home. The world, socializing, shopping, fitness – too much of a risk. They all could trigger a crash. It seemed like everything could.
Oh, I am bipolar? Isolation won’t protect from my terrifying mood dives? Crashes weren’t caused my outside stimulus? Yet I retain all my fears of the world. I’m not sure it is over. The sadness still sneaks through at times. Weekends are spent cowering in my home.
Not today. Today I went to the gym.
Small and pathetic but a step. Much of my former life was sacrificed to the this illness.
Regardless, progress. Progress.